I’ve been offline for several days because of Hurricane Ike.  About a year and a half ago my partner and I moved fifty miles inland from our former home on Galveston Island.  At our new home in suburban Houston, we are still severely affected by the hurricane, having gone four days without power, but we are fortunate enough to have had no damage to our house and only minor damage to our yard and fences.  So many of our neighbors, both close by and in the greater Houston/Galveston region, were not so lucky.

Now that our power is back I will be getting GayHankies.com back up and running again as soon as possible.  Thank you all, very much, for your patience and support during this time.

If you can, I urge you to support the following charities which are doing a tremendous service to our region:

• Greater Houston Community Foundation - Houston Ike Relief Fund
• Salvation Army Hurricane Respon - Delivering One Million Meals to Ike Victims, on top of One Million Meals to Victims of Other Hurricanes in 2008
• American Red Cross - Operating 144 Shelters in Texas and 19 Shelters in Louisiana for Ike Evacuees

Yesterday afternoon I heard from a customer who let me know that I’d shipped his package to the wrong address.  As soon as I saw his email, I stopped what I was doing and looked into it.  Sure enough, I made the mistake, and he had missed out on two bottles of Jungle Juice.

I make a lot of mistakes, actually, more than my family, friends, clients, and past co-workers realized.  I’ve always told people that I’ve learned more from my mistakes than from the anything I do right.  You can’t learn anything from being perfect all the time.  Yes, I was one of those irritating people who made all A’s except for two B’s in college.  That’s another story.

Then I joined the workforce all those years ago, and I found that “real life” was a lot more complex than the classroom.  And I learned to welcome every mistake, however painful, admiting them immediately and then making corrections.  Or even better, I learned to tell my boss, “Look, I made this mistake and I corrected it, and now the program is better than it was…”  I got a reputation as a problem-solver and fix-it man, but all of that came with the knowledge that finding a solution sometimes meant trying ten different solutions — all of them wrong — and then trying the one that worked.

Fast forward years later, and now I work by myself, for myself, in my own home-office.  And I’d made a mistake, and this customer didn’t get what he should have had.

Once I had a chance to figure out what happened, I contacted the customer, apologized, and told him I would send him replace product in the morning.  He doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve sent him a little something extra in his package to emphasize how sorry I am and to make up for his trouble.

So all’s well that ends well.  Until next time.

Last week I’d mentioned how some questions from a gentleman in San Francisco had led me to add the “Poppers And Your Health” page to this web site.  Now I can tell the story.

I received an email from Seth Hemmelgarn, a contributing writer for San Francisco’s famed Bay Area Reporter.  He told me that he was working on a story about selling poppers on the Internet, and he asked if I would agree to be interviewed for this.  That same evening we did an email interview, portions of which were included in a story published yesterday in the BAR: Activist, city address availability of poppers.  It’s a good article, balanced, well-written, and I think it’s worth a read.

What I didn’t know, until all of this, is that there are in San Francisco some voices who still repeat the discredited argument I last heard in the 1980s about poppers causing KS and/or HIV.  Of course they don’t.  It’s a virus that does it, and the way to deal with the virus to deal with your behavior and manage your risks.  I’ve been around since the beginning of the epidemic, and the message was drummed into me over and over again.  I’ve been around the block more than once, and I lived through the time when so many of us, me included, we too scared to even get close or achieve intimacy with another man.  Those days are over.  Although we will always live in a world of risks, we don’t have to live in fear anymore.

I have also learned that some of our more progressive communities have started public education efforts to better inform people about the effects and risks of poppers.  I’m all for that.  If someone has a heart attack because no one told him not to use poppers with Viagra, that’s a preventable crisis, maybe even a preventable death.

And, I have also learned that some wish to further restrict access to poppers.  On restrictions, well, I don’t get to to make those decisions, but I will always follow the law.  My opinion of them is as I’ve said before:  I’m your Daddy — in some places and times — and not your nanny.  I want people to grow up, educate themselves, and make their own responsible choices.

In keeping with that, I’m publishing here the text of the interview I had with Seth.  There’s a lot more information about myself here than I’ve chosen to make public before, and believe me, I do not do this lightly.  I do this in the trust that my customers are, in some ways, my friends.  This information is good for you to know, and it’s good for you to be aware of all the potential health issues if you choose to use poppers.  Don’t forget to read the Poppers And Your Health page.  Now here’s the interview:

Seth: Since selling poppers is illegal, and there’s debate that it causes more susceptibility to HIV infections, why do you sell them?

I realize they’re posted on the site as aromas and video head cleaners.

Bob: In general, selling “poppers” is not illegal;  what is illegal is selling specific formulas.  Here in Texas, they are sold openly in some gay and adult-oriented business.  I remember seeing the same arrangement when I lived in Southern California a few years ago and I saw them in a shop on Castro Street the last time I visited your city.

What I sell are products from PWD brands and other companies such as the ones described at the PWD web site in their section on USA formulas.  See:
http://www.pwdbrands.com/usa_formula.php

Although the products are not specifically labeled or sold as inhalants, it’s clear what people use them for.  The link to increased rates HIV infection was widely discussed in the 1980s but never proven.  Since that time, most prevention campaigns are focused on education and behavioral issues addressing how people have sex, especially condom use.  I believe each person has a responsibility to educate himself and make an informed choice about his behavior.  You’ll notice that I sell condoms and condom-friendly lubes on the site.

The specific reasons why I sell them is that it fills a market niche as a business that I can run from home while being here to care for my disabled partner, who is a lifelong Type 1 diabetic and quarter-century HIV survivor.  This is a very-small home-based business that I run by myself to supplement my other income as a free-lance programmer/consultant.  I started GayHankies.com a demo web site to teach myself a certain programming package, then added actual products as an experiment when one of my paid projects wound down and I needed to add to my income stream.  It helps, but it doesn’t pay my bills.

Seth:  How many units (if that’s the proper term) do you sell in a year? How have sales changed in recent years? Are specific numbers available for San Francisco?

Bob: Sales volume is small, possibly 125 to 175 bottles a month.  That would likely be over 1500 bottles a year; I’d have to check my accounting software for specific numbers.  I receive a few orders every day and process them each morning. Many of my customers live in small towns or suburban areas and don’t necessarily have easy access to gay stores or even an adult bookstore.  Others do live in big cities, including San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle, New York, and Washington, and there are a few in places like Palm Springs, Key West, and so on.  Most of these, I think, shop with me because of good customer service, value, convenience, and a sense of relationship.  I rely on mostly a small group of long-time customers who shop regularly.  I don’t keep specific numbers on how many are sold in each geographic location.   The trend for sales is up slightly from year to year, but I rely more on word-of-mouth and networking to get new customers than on advertising.

Seth: How much money do you make from selling poppers?

Bob: I’d rather not give a specific number, but it’s less than I make from the rest of my freelance work.

Seth: What’s your title?

Bob: I’m the owner.

Seth: Is there anything else you’d like to mention?

Bob: I can’t think of anything else.  Please let me know if you have more questions and also when the story will appear so that I can look for it online.

In a couple of follow-up emails, Seth asked about search-engine advertising, and I mentioned that I’d used Google’s AdWords service, which displays “sponsored links” for relevant ads when you search for something on Google.  For me, I’ve done it as an experiment but have never really found that my volume or budget was enough to evaluate if it is effective.

After that, my curiosity led me to wonder why he was asking about HIV and poppers, a good twenty years or more since I’d ever heard anyone mention the two in the same sentence.  A Google search led me to the health information about poppers provided by the Seattle/King Public Health Department.  After I read it, I decided that it was a good and responsible thing to add that to my web site.

And that’s the story.

I’ve heard from a couple of customers who failed to get their 20% SUMMERBLOWOUT discount.  One was quite irate, another was very friendly and understanding.  Before you shop, if you want to get the discount, be sure to click through this link and read and follow the instructions.  You can keep using it on as many orders as you want, all month long, but the discount does not happen automatically.  You do have to put it on your order during the checkout process.

And by the way, no I’m not giving away free bottles of Rush or Amsterdam.  That yellow box that appears when you get into the online store is telling you that if you buy Rush, then you will receive free condoms.   It’s written again on the Rush product page.  Anyhow…

As far as irate customers go, I’ve had one or two in my time.  Most of them don’t realize that GayHankies.com is actually just one person.   They seem to think there is some “company” here that’s making stupid mistakes or is out to take advantage of them.  Of course, they’re frustrated, and they don’t know it’s just me on the other end of the email.  I’m doing the best I can, and I’m being as careful and as patient as possible.  And yes, I do refund people’s money from time to time, sort of like a small-scale kinky Nordstrom, just to keep them happy and keep them coming back.

Unfortunately, I cannot make your experience perfect.  I can’t guarantee that any bottle of poppers that you buy won’t give you a headache, nor that it will be strong enough to satisfy, nor that it will stay fresh as long as you and I would like.  I can’t guarantee that the dildo you buy won’t be too big or too small, or that the suction cup will stick wherever you want to place it.  I can’t match prices.  I can’t keep the lube from drying out, nor from running out at the most inconvenient moment.

What I can do is listen to you, honestly and fairly, and do my best to fix the problems and satisfy your needs.  And of course, I make mistakes, and I do my best to correct them and learn from them.

This business is built on a small group of very loyal customers — you know who you are — and I’m very grateful to be able to think of you as friends unmet.

Last week this time I sent out a newsletter announcing a close-out on the Maximum Impact, Thunderbolt, and U4ea sprays in my inventory. And of course, they sold out in less than a day.

The reason why I dropped these product lines is that I found they were not good for me, personally, to have around. If I used them too much, I had blackouts, and after that I felt sick. And even if I tried to keep them only for the inventory, not for myself, it was too hard to resist the temptation if I had them around.

Not only that, but I could see logically that if they were bad for me, they were probably bad for some of my customers, too. As I said in the newsletter, I’m not your “nanny” and everyone has to take responsibility for playing in a safe and sane way. Nonetheless, I don’t want to put any of my friends in harm’s way, so the sprays had to go. I was going to simply dispose of the last ones that I had, but my partner said to put them on a clearance sale – his ultimatum, really – so that’s what I did. He looks out for me and always has had my best interests at heart.

I’ve heard from some customers that they miss they sprays, although some also note that they appreciate my concern. You and I recognize that these products are widely available, although some of you who have bought them from me might not have local suppliers nor have an alternative source on the web. If you’re looking for another on-line store that carries them, I can give you some references; just drop me an email.

Otherwise, know that I’m looking out for you. And I trust that you’re looking out for me, too.

Thanks to my customers and friends for your support and patience while I was out of town after the death of my mother last week. I’m back home now. This weekend I’ll be processing orders placed while I was gone, and they’ll be shipped on Monday, October 20.

As it was earlier this month, your orders will have a short delay because I am away on family matters. My mother had been in the hospital at the beginning of October; she was since released to hospice care and has passed away. I will be gone for a week attending to her arrangements, memorial service, and related affairs.

How does this affect you? You can still place your orders on GayHankies.com, but I won’t be able to process them or ship them to you until I return. I expect to be back in time to ship your orders on Monday, October 22.

As always, I am more than grateful for your patience, your support, and for your loyalty to me and to GayHankies.com. I will check my email at least once a day and if you have questions or need anything, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

Thanks to all my customers who have been patiently waiting for their orders while I’ve been away from home and away from my business last week. I had stopped processing orders October 2 because I had to go to San Antonio to supervise my mother’s medical care. I’m back now, and I will be processing the backlog of orders when the Post Office re-opens after the Columbus Day holiday.

Unfortunately, my mother’s condition is quite dire, and I may be called back to San Antonio at any time. When that happens, I will have to suspend order processing again for at least several days. I’ll try to give as much notice as possible.

Thanks again for your patience and support.

Your orders will have a short delay this week because I am away on family matters. My mother is in the hospital again with a critical condition, and I am going over to San Antonio to visit her and talk with her doctors.

How does this affect you? You can still place your orders on GayHankies.com, but I won’t be able to process them or ship them to you until I return. I expect to be back this weekend, and I will be able to ship your orders on Tuesday, October 9 after the Monday Holiday for Columbus Day.

I appreciate your patience with all of this, and your loyalty to me and to GayHankies.com. I will check my email every day and if you have questions or need anything, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

This has been a difficult summer for me, and I have had to be away several times on family business. When this happens, I basically have to suspend operations at GayHankies.com, since there is no one but me to process your orders and handle your shipments. If I’m not here, the “show” takes an “intermission.” Typically, that’s a long weekend once or twice a month.

My father passed away on July 19. Facing this, I left town the next day to arrange his funeral and assist my family. My sisters and brothers gathered from the US and abroad, and we spent a week visiting my mother and seeing my father off to his final rest.

You, my customers, have been very patient with me this summer. This time, you’ve been more patient and more supportive than ever, and I want to let you know that I’m grateful. You’ve been here for me, you’ve been loyal, and I’m going to keep on being here for you.

And while you’re on GayHankies.com, take a look at the PRIDE2007 $10 savings offer: This summer through August 31, take $10 off your order when you purchase at least $50, one order per customer. For more details, look here.